Sleepy nothing

Upon waking up this morning, I already knew I had a mega-migraine, and resented everyone for existing. It's wild to me how very early in the mornings I can feel such intense hate without even opening my eyes. It slowly dissolves, but never totally dissipates. At breakfast, I think Ana sensed how deeply I was dreading the day ahead, and made extra effort to cheer me up. Which was kind, but I still had dropped my mascara brush on my nice shirt, and ran out of shampoo and conditioner in the shower, so my bubbliness wasn't as forthcoming as per usual. My greatest fear when coming to Costa Rica was the affect that my own cynicism and perma-melancholy would bring to this experience. That I fear my own inability (or ineptitude?) to control my emotions says a whole lot, none of which seems too interesting to write about right now.

To put my mood in perspective though, I've had a very long weekend..

On Friday, I woke up at 6 am and rushed through my morning routine, running up the hill to ICADS with two pastries and a small Costa Rican pear in hand. Our class took a busetta over and through the beautiful mountain ranges surrounding San José and into the foothills, where we stopped first at the finca of Don Enrique and the AFAORCA (Associacion des Familias Agricultoras Organicos de los Cerros Caraigres), an organization of 22 Fair Trade family farmers with small plots of land who farm organic coffee. We learned about how, fifteen years ago when AFAORCA first began to farm organically, there was little incentive from within Costa Rica - and how little has changed, though now more farmers are seeing out AFAORCA's help since their own farms, pastures, and health have been so brutalized by the chemical pesticides that are still legal here.

However, the process of becoming certified organic is an incredibly expensive one for most Costa Rican farmers. The USDA leases out its own name and title to inspectors, who then relay the costs to small landowners. Beyond having to wait two years for the half-lives of most pesticides to pass during which time the sale of ones goods is fairly impossible, farmers must ensure that their land is entirely separated from neighboring lands that may use pesticides. This is extremely difficult, since most farmers already cannot support their families with the income their farms bring in.

For coffee, this created an even larger problem when the United States attempted to provide South Asia with economic stimulus through the coffee bean - destabilizing world markets and causing the price of a 100-weight bag of coffee to plummet. Fair Trade, developed as a consequence of this, certifies that small-farm workers were paid according to set price standards for their coffee, though currently the label is under strain since large agri-businesses such as Walmart have been attempting to grow, purchase and sell fair trade coffee on a much larger scale.

Within Costa Rica, there is very little market for organic coffee - in fact, it is primarily from the United States that this market has materialized. However, Don Enrique and his family support a more widespread network of fincas integrales (comprehensive and self-sustainable farms which provide food security). Don Enrique and his wife live on one of these farms, and we held our next session of the day in one of his cattle pastures on the top of a mountain.

After studying soil content, erosion, and related topics for several hours while clambering up and down the mountain side faster than the cows that live on it, Don Enrique's wife prepared us all a massive and delicious lunch, much of which came from her own garden. When my pictures are finally online you will be able to see her different tank gardens, her bio-fuel pigs, chickens, and her truck-bed manure system. They also live on the top of a mountain overlooking a valley - - all in all an incredibly kind, generous, and beautiful family who have created a wonderful home for themselves.

The harrowing turns down a million mountain sides were lessened on the way back since I'd realized that from my seat I could spot many different kinds of fruit trees. Seeing oranges, lemons, and limes still is so exotic to me, and hasn't stopped being thrilling. More so than the windy roads.

But they were worthwhile, since we ended up at the restaurant where Don Enrique's sons serve AFAORCA coffee - creating and solidifying a market within Costa Rica for the best coffee that has traditionally been exported to wealthier countries. We were shown how coffee roasting works (the difference between a normal roast and a French roast is only a matter of 3-5 seconds!), and how true coffee tasters test the quality of the beans. Much more complicated than wine tasting!

Again, once I upload my photos, everything will be much easier to understand. But it was a wonderful end to the day, even though I'd forgotten my own wallet and went without a coffee of my own. I still had an amazing time, though was completely exhausted by 7 pm when I finally arrived back at my home.

It's funny - the exhaustion of traveling is easy to parallel with the exhaustion of mono that I suffered from my second year of college. As soon as I come home, waves of tiredness wash over me. Some nights it is easier than others to keep my eyes open - some it's not even worth the struggle. Usually Ana saves me from my blank stares at the unfamiliar shapes of words in my tareas, and I can sit still and eat delicious food and avoid thinking about the work that remains. The family comes and goes in the kitchen, at a slow but erratic pace that easily entertains.

Friday night, Rosie and I spoke in greater detail for the first time, and I learned more about the five orphans she was going to visit. She shared with me their deeply sad story, which shook me more than anything else here has. They are the children of two families of abused women whose father's have both committed suicide, and two young siblings from these families have also died in recent years. The mothers are very poor and live with their own grandmothers, and the children have little access to school (since it is two hours away, and for one family the four children's only option is to herd cattle or pile on to their deaf and mute aunt's motorcycle). Rosie is their godmother, I believe, and told me she wants to bring me someday soon.

Rosie also told me that I am a good ICADS student - though she phrased this by stating that I am either the 10th student they've had, or that this is their tenth year hosting a student, and that I am high on the list of favorites. After a week, I'm happy! What accolades! I'm well on my way to becoming these two ladies best-friend-for-life. It is interesting though how I feel like I'm swaying from being treated like I am in a bed and breakfast (and a part of the income - which I am) to being just another body in the busy house of my hosts.

I am so tired! I have so much work I should do, I can't write any more..this blog post wasn't very interesting at all.. Oh well, next time! I had a wild weekend that will blow your minds, so in anticipation for that - and the beautiful photos I have stored up, goodnight.

Oh, here's a picture of me happy on da beach taken by a friend who's put up her pictures!